I knew years of role-playing would one day stand me in good stead. Years of crafting worlds populated with dark villains, terrifying über-monsters, lairs, temples, traps infested dungeons, woodland realms, islands where things with teeth hunt you in the night, holes in the world where dragons slumber. Years of being Dungeon-Master not only honed my imagination to the point where I could live in these places in my head for hours on end tormenting and rewarding the valiant characters who roared and fought and won their way through my campaigns, it also prepared me for today; for the bored-3-year-old-driving-into-work time.
What sparked this wild adventure through our collective imaginings was a discarded Google Map found by Mr 3 who was convinced, as is his right, that it was a treasure map. We began our journey hesitantly checking the map to make sure we were going in the right direction, valiantly avoiding holes which would spontaneously, and with little warning, appear in front of us threatening to swallow up the car. Over the course of the 45 minute drive into the city these holes got progressively worse: they became deeper, wider, filled with fire, or water, or ants. I am pleased to say we managed to avoid every single one. It soon became apparent we needed to visit the four naughty bears who had some treasure. This involved leaving a jar of honey mixed with sleeping berries out for them and then, when they fell in a slumbering snore, Mr 3 was able to nip in and get the treasure. We fleeced a couple of other mythical creatures along the way. From the gigantic “meat-eating” dragon slumbering under the freeway overpass we managed to pilfer a magical cup. From the eagles in their high cave eerie we managed to nick some ruby eggs - although this was more hazardous and involved us having to get the car to fly and a hasty getaway from angry eagles by hiding in some passing clouds. We also took a turn too close to an erupting volcano and had to do some pretty hushed driving through a forest of bees.
From there the adventure took on a serious Star Wars theme. Apparently we were avoiding walkers (AT-AT’s) by passing between some large trucks. Our car became Luke’s skimmer and we were away skipping under the thundering feet of AT-ATs while avoiding pockets of ground-based Imperial droids. At one point Mr 3. had to have a light-saber battle with Darth Vader on the back of an AT-AT and he informed us he (Anakin) knocked Darth (the baddie) to the ground where “he hurt his bum-bone”. Much hilarity ensues from the use of the word bum-bone. Mr 3 has yet to figure out that Anakin is actually Darth Vader but I’m okay with that. We chased forest skimmers, dodged more giant holes in the ground and managed to send out R2-D2 (me) onto the wing to fix holes made by enemy blaster fire (queue more hilarity from my R2-D2 impersonation).
Our mission ended when we dropped ‘Snips’ (Ahsoka Tano/Mom) on the bridge near her work. She had to make sure she had her breathing mask and her light saber - everything a corporate attorney needs for an early morning meeting with her boss.
When we finally got to school the Google Map was carefully folded for the drive home. Another imagination adventure, I can hardly wait!